


What are We to Each Other?

by WitchipediaAus



Category: The New Legends of Monkey (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Comfort/Angst, Communication, Demons Are Assholes, F/M, Families of Choice, Implied/Referenced Character Death, POV Multiple, Team as Family, implied genderfluid character, little bit of lack of communication in the beginning, sharing pain au, tripi and monkey don't know how to process feelings part two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 05:04:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16758481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WitchipediaAus/pseuds/WitchipediaAus
Summary: When she was five, she cut her hand....(He didn’t know what the other Gods were talking about when they mentioned pain.)





	What are We to Each Other?

When she was five, she cut her hand.

It wasn’t a bad wound, necessarily, not medically serious, but it concerned the Scholar when she said she hadn’t felt it.

She learned, as he wrapped her wound, that pain was shared between soulmates in their world. Everyone felt pain, though sometimes it wasn’t their own. It was a sign that their soulmate needed help, too, depending on the intensity.

She thought it was dumb and felt glad she couldn’t feel pain. She didn’t want to feel anybody else’s pain or issues anyway.

\----

At ten, she figured out, though he didn’t tell her, that if one soulmate died or wasn’t alive yet, the other couldn’t feel pain, because death severed the bond and there couldn’t be a bond with something that didn’t exist.

She thought of the demons that ruled her world, then, and felt sick.

And that was the first time she tried to climb the mountain.

She could feel the rough texture of the rock, and, when she reached a ledge a little way up, saw tears in her hands from how she’d been gripping it. The wounds weren’t deep enough to bleed, and for that she was thankful.

The trip down, however, caused her to cut her leg on one of the rocks peeking out. She didn’t notice until the Scholar pointed out the blood staining her clothes.

\----

She returned to the mountain whenever she needed a break, from then on. She got better at climbing, too, and went higher and higher and higher until she reached the top.

She was sixteen when she managed to climb to the top. She had blood on her hands and arms from random scrapes and there was a bruise from where she slammed her knee on a rock some way down, but she was proud.

\----

She knew she was hungry. That didn’t mean she could _feel_ it, but she clutched at her sides like she was in pain because then, maybe, someone would take mercy on her and give her something.

She didn’t expect much, though. No one in the town knew her and she didn’t know them.

\----

It was because she couldn’t feel pain, couldn’t feel how intensely her stomach was twirling and clenching in rage as she moved to do it, that she gave the monk outside her food.

She flinched when Monica mentioned money, but nodded and put herself to work, asking a few questions about what exactly she was expected to do.

She was clumsy, that hadn’t changed, and she tripped over herself sometimes, adding marks to the board in the back, but working gave her something to tie herself to, gave her some self-worth. She had little complaints.

\----

“Doesn’t that hurt?” Monica asked her, narrowed eyes, as she patted herself dry. “That was hot water.”

She shrugged and wrung out the rag as she replied, “I can’t feel pain.”

Monica’s eyes went soft, wide at that, and she pinned the emotion as either pity or regret. “Oh, dear...”

“It’s fine. I never met them. I’ve never been able to feel it, anyway, no matter how far I think back.”

The conversation puttered out at that, as it usually did when she mentioned it.

\----

She felt terrible, leaving the monks to fight the demon on their own. They could likely feel pain, feel everything that was going to be inflicted on them.

But she had something important to do. She could focus on her emotions later.

\----

She was so terribly relieved when she saw the Monkey King standing before the demon, though she was starting to feel an ache in her side.

It felt like her muscles did after she had run all the way to the mountain, like her legs used to when she first started climbing the mountain years ago, but more prominent.

More real.

That concerned her, and then it scared her, because the Scholar would have been able to give her an answer to what she was thinking and he _wasn’t there anymore_.

She ignored it, though, because now Monkey was next to her, calling her a monk, asking for help in any way she could offer.

Then he kissed her and she really, really didn’t know how to feel about that, seeing as she was given _no warning_. She didn’t have time to think about that, too, because then he was gone and she was left with the strange new feeling that was slowly becoming both more prominent and less strange as she rubbed at the tears in her hands.

\----

She had barely made it to the monastery before she felt the weird sensation that she had felt in the forest, though there was no reason for it, spread along her chest, waist, and one of her legs.

She gasped, which made the head monk turn around, both for the bodies and because of how the sensation hurt.

She asked, before anything else, if the head monk could explain what pain felt like to him. His answer was about what she was expecting, but that didn’t mean she knew how she felt about it.

After all, the only thing that had changed between her old normal and now was that the Monkey King was alive again.

\----

“Don’t waste your life on the Monkey King,” The head monk had told her.

But how could she not? If she was going to feel the pain he went through for the rest of her life, she would rather be next to or near him. Knowing the why and how would help with the pain, she figured.

He had saved her life before, with the demon, whether he knew it or not, whether he wanted to or not. She owed him something there, too, unless he wanted to count letting him out.

And he was her soulmate. It wasn’t like she had anything she could return to anymore.

Except Monica. But she had caused her so much trouble, Tripitaka didn’t feel up to trying, in the end.

\----

She was mostly panicking when Monkey was about to kill Sandy. It was a wonder that she remembered the chant, but-

Oh, it hurt. It hurt her, not as much as it hurt Monkey, but the pain was there, and Monkey actually backed up, away from her, away from them.

Which made sense to her. After all, if she didn’t feel pain until Monkey was freed, then why would he have felt it? The crown must have been overwhelming for him if it caused her to barely be able to push through the words.

Sandy seemed confused, mostly, glancing in between them. Tripitaka wondered if anyone had explained soulmates to her and went to ask, but then they were in trouble and had to run.

There would be time for questions and explanations later, maybe.

\----

She had pleaded for help, and now just needed time to plan on her own.

She looked out into the forest, then to Pigsy. “Please, don’t hurt him,” She muttered, because she’d just met her soulmate and he was bound to be confused too and she couldn’t bear to lose him so soon after the Scholar.

Pigsy just stared at her, and she took a few steps away.

“He’s my soulmate, I can’t lose him too,” She finished, bitter and upset, and turned away before she could see a reaction.

\----

Pigsy warned her about Locke when she ran into him later. He seemed more resigned, though.

“I’m sorry, but there’s no other path for me to take.”

He sighed, like he had expected that answer. She didn’t move for a moment, before he motioned for her to follow him.

She smiled. Maybe this would go better than she thought.

\----

“Thank you for everything, Monica.”

“You’re a good girl. Take care of yourself.”

Tripitaka smiled, rubbed her eyes, and then gasped. “Oh, I almost forgot... I can feel pain now - can you believe it?”

Monica’s eyes widened, and she smiled back briefly before looking over the friends she had acquired.

It seemed to click for her when Monkey returned to Tripitaka’s side.

He nudged her with his shoulder when she looked up at him, and she pushed his side with her elbow gently.

Things were going to be different, now that they could both feel pain and because of the quest, but she found that she wouldn’t ask for anything different.

**\----**

(He didn’t know what the other Gods were talking about when they mentioned pain. The Master tried to explain it, but all he got out of it was that pain was inconvenient.

He couldn’t feel it, though, and that’s why he liked fighting. Sometimes, if a fight was going fast enough or it seemed like he might lose – _as if –_ he felt something that almost matched the Master’s descriptions. It wasn’t often, but it happened, and that had to be enough.

The other Gods feel pity for him, he thought, because he couldn’t feel everything that they could.

He was fine with not feeling it, though. It would just slow him down, wouldn’t it? Who wanted that?

And a soulmate... that would just tie him to one place, too. Davari mentioned that a couple times to him, when he asked, though he’d never met Davari’s soulmate. He wondered if his friend had one, sometimes.

Regardless, Davari seemed happy enough. So why couldn’t he be the same without his?

\----

The monk looked happy to see him in a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen anyone look at him before.

He wasn’t concerned about that, at the moment. Because there was something crawling under his skin that he had never felt before and seemed suspiciously like weakness.

He didn’t have access to his powers, there was a new weakness he didn’t have time to analyze, and oh, the monk was actually kind of cute.

The monk also had his staff and he was running on adrenaline mainly so he surged forward and kissed him, though he rushed off before what he had just done could sink in entirely.

\----

As he sat on his own in the tavern, he thought about the pain he was feeling, or what he assumed to be pain, in any case.

It had been five hundred years. It could be any human around, or even demon, or maybe a new god. He wasn’t sure, couldn’t be sure.

He’d just gotten free. Why did he have to deal with this now?

\----

He was blindsided by the pain of the crown, so much so that he nearly missed seeing the little monk flinch as he finished speaking.

He saw it, but it didn’t click immediately.

He stepped back, a hand to his head, and then, seconds later, followed Sandy out of the sewers.

\----

It clicked when Sandy asked, “Have you ever met your soulmate?”

He shook his head, harshly, “I don’t want to talk anymore, about anything.”

“That means yes,” She grinned sharply at him, but it turned a little sad a couple seconds later.

“No, it doesn’t. It means I’m more focused on our present situation.”

“I’m sure Tripitaka will think of something.”

“Hate to break it to you,” He turned away from her, though he did glance over his shoulder, “but the monk is dead.”

He knew it wasn’t true, and Sandy repeated his thoughts. It couldn’t be true, because he felt the pain of running too fast, the sting of the ground slamming into the bottom of his foot, but he wasn’t running.

\----

He knew something was wrong when he felt something burning in his chest. He was absolutely sure that something was going to happen when he felt the burn along his arms that only came from a rope.

He said as much to the group, that something was wrong, that Tripitaka was in trouble, though he didn’t mention why. The two humans still with them reassured him that Affe would make sure the monk was safe, but that only made him more concerned.

Affe had split them up on purpose, he decided.

Sandy seemed to notice him looking over his shoulder more than necessary, too, and patted his arm. “Tripitaka isn’t dead, if you’re still concerned about what you’re feeling.”

He didn’t reply.

\----

He really, really, _really_ did not like Affe. Affe had seemed okay, yesterday, a little arrogant, maybe, and self-absorbed, but telling him to kill Tripitaka? Thinking that he could control him?

That was too far.

He nearly sighed in relief when Sandy mentioned that the crown sutra only worked for those pure of heart, because if Affe had been able to use it, there was no telling what would have happened.

And the crown didn’t work like that, anyway. It just caused him pain. It would have caused Tripitaka pain, too, and that was what Monkey didn’t know if he could handle.

If it was just him in danger, and nothing tying them together like that? Absolutely. There was no way he was about to kill for no reason, and besides that, he liked Tripitaka.

He might have killed Affe if it had worked. Probably would have killed him for trying, too, had he not fallen onto a spike.

He was a little more concerned with how horrified the monk looked than not being able to kill him, though.

“He didn’t look like he felt it,” He muttered, while Monkey got the ropes off of him. “I wonder...” He swallowed, then, and didn’t continue the thought. Monkey didn’t blame him.

\----

He didn’t know how to feel about seeing Gwen again. She wasn’t his favorite, none of the Gods were, but it was somewhat of a comfort, to see something from the past still here.

She had changed, but she was there. He had also changed, though not as much as her.

He didn’t know what to make of it, so he ignored it in favor of keeping watch over Tripitaka. Someone had to, after all.

\----

The thing about poison, especially Kins’ poison, was that it didn’t hurt. Not like a wound did, not like a broken bone did.

When he felt a prick in his leg, he waved it off as a stick he had kicked up because he didn’t know better. The second time, when it felt a bit fainter, he thought it was a bruise Tripitaka had gotten in the Nightmare Factory.

But then he fell and started shaking, and there was _nothing Monkey could do about it_.

And that hurt. It hurt, but not the pain he was starting to be familiar with, and that made it so much worse.

\----

“What did the Scholar tell you about Tripitaka?”

“I never knew him.” Monkey thought back to the last time the Scholar was mentioned. Maybe things would be better if they had met. “When I got out it was just the monk. No hair. Sad face.” Cute face, his mind supplied, though he managed not to say it. “Lots of questions. Western mountains, this and that.”

“It was this monk who released you?” Gwen sounded surprised, well and truly surprised. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

“He's as stubborn as a giant, but he knows a thing or two. Enough to get us out of that nightmare factory back there.” _I trust him_ , goes unsaid.

“He rescued you from the Shaman?”

“Yes.” They stand in silence for a minute. She went to move, but before she could, he grabbed her arm and said, “I can feel pain, now. I’d... I’d rather keep feeling it.” He didn’t like being open about what he was feeling, especially with people he didn’t like, but, by her reaction, it had worked.

\----

“When I first came out of the rock, I didn't know what to expect. I thought perhaps a little more fanfare. But there was nothing.” Except the new feeling, crawling under his skin, that he didn’t have a name for. Not at the time.

“No gods, no welcoming ceremony, nothing. Just you.” He paused, looked over his shoulder, half muttering, “An insignificant human.”

“No, that that's not what I meant, okay?” A human, that was his soulmate, whose pain he shared, and who gave him a direction in a world he knew nothing of. But insignificant, then, in the eyes of the Gods he had known, in the eyes of everyone and everything he had crossed the path of in his life, before the quest. “This isn't coming out right...”

He sighed and shifted towards the monk. “When my Master died, I thought I would never again have the chance to be a part of something that mattered. Until I met you. Don't die.”

_Don’t die_ , echoed his brain, as he reached over and patted Tripitaka’s shoulder. _Don’t die, especially not before the quest ends, especially not before we can talk about this, about what we are._

\----

As Pigsy and he talked to Raxion, he wondered if Pigsy knew.

He had to, right? He had to know that Tripitaka and him were connected. Sandy had figured it out.

Maybe that’s why he’s been holding Monkey back from fighting. They didn’t know whether Tripitaka was safe or not, and he wouldn’t be prepared for feeling pain without seeing the fight start.

If Pigsy did know, however, he didn’t mention it.

\----

Sometimes, while they were staying with the family, he’d catch Pigsy watching him. For signs of pain, he guessed, or lack thereof.

The most pain he felt was the sting of nails near his neck and the soft burn of scratching a spot too much.

He only felt the second in the dead of night, when he should have been sleeping but couldn’t.

He really wanted Davari dead.

\----

“He turned you into a girl.”

Tripitaka bit his- her lip, “I was... always a girl.” The way he – no, _she_ \- says it made it sound like a lie.

“No, no, no. You were a boy monk.”

“Always a girl,” She tensed at the word ‘always’ and suddenly he wanted to protect her, but it wasn’t the time. “I lied to you. I _wanted_ to tell you so many times,” She continued and she seemed just a little hysterical. “But I thought you might feel betrayed.”

That’s right, he thought privately. He had been under the impression his soulmate was a boy, and by Tripitaka’s tone, maybe that wasn’t quite a lie. It didn’t matter much to him, in the end.

But he said, instead, “Betrayed? Maybe.”

And he meant no. He didn’t feel _betrayed_ that Tripitaka didn’t tell him. Something like gender wasn’t big enough for that. He wished, though, that she had had more trust in him.

There wasn’t anything he could do about it now.

“Confused? Yes.” And he was. They were soulmates, and they hadn’t spoken about it at all, but for something like this he didn’t think it was necessary.

Besides that, they’d been traveling together for how long now? There had to be trust from that. Tripitaka trusted him to defend her when she couldn’t. Why didn’t she trust him with this?

She didn’t trust any of them with it, or else they wouldn’t have said half the things they did, he guessed.

He didn’t know how to tell her that, though, without being more open than he was comfortable with, so he offered her the remainder of the potion.

\----

“Let. Her. Go.” He snarled at Davari, who didn’t seem even half-phased by it.

He had half a plan formed, and he knew he was depending on a lot of luck if he went through with it, but he took a step forward-

Watched Tripitaka fall-

Ran after her-

And summoned the cloud.

Tripitaka was clinging to him, which he really didn’t mind after all that had happened, and muttered a shaky, “You didn’t know that would work,” at him.

He didn’t, but it had.

He didn’t tell her, either, that the plan was either summon the cloud and get back up or shield her from the ground with his body and _hope_ that it would be enough not to kill her.

\----

“So...”

They were alone, for once, at Jade Mountain, Sandy exploring the underground and Pigsy walking around the streets. There was no guarantee that they would get a chance like this again any time soon.

“We need to talk,” Tripitaka picked up for him. “About... what we are. To each other. And how it will affect the quest.”

That sounded like her, being focused on the quest even in the background of a conversation unrelated to it. He was glad that much had stayed the same, in the end.

“I couldn’t feel pain, back then.” Monkey sighed and sat down near her. “I didn’t want to, either. It seemed like something that would hold me back.”

“I couldn’t feel it until after you got out of the mountain,” Tripitaka rested her hand in between them, “I didn’t want to cause others pain or feel what another person was going through. It wasn’t until I was older that I figured out why I didn’t feel it.”

“You thought...?”

She nodded. “I wasn’t wrong, really. Just not right.”

“Is there time?” It’s not a finished question. He had two ways to end it, too. Did they have time to learn about each other like _that_? Was there time to find out?

“I don’t know.”

“Do you...” He paused. The answer could hurt, but it was important to know. “Do you want to?”

“I...” Tripitaka looked away from him, then. “I’m already so scared of losing you. What if this makes it worse?”

She was scared of losing him? She had almost _died_ and he had almost lost her, almost wasn’t able to do anything. “I get that,” He said, instead. “But... if it does happen, if one of us...” He couldn’t say the word. It was a reality he didn’t want to face yet. “Wouldn’t it be better to have done something?”

“I...” She reached towards him, then, and he let her rest her hand on top of his. “Yes, it would.”

\----

Sandy was looking at him weirdly. So was Pigsy.

He didn’t like it, at all.

“You and Tripitaka, huh?” Sandy said. She didn’t mean it as a question and he knew that.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I hope it works out.” She nodded to him, and sped up to walk alongside Tripitaka.

Pigsy stared at him for a couple more seconds, and then said, “Don’t hurt her.”

“How much faith do you guys have in me?”

“In this scenario? Not a lot.”

“Hey!”)

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me @witchipedia-aus or @tripitaka-and-co on tumblr!  
> (leave comments, too, please! i live for feedback!)


End file.
